to the internetz,



While listening to this song I remembered a bold statement that was said out of my mouth to some close friends last night.

“i think im gonna start hosting youth rallies again” & in my heart I said, “I’m going to host youth rallies again for Jesus.”

It’s been about a year since I hosted one. The vision is dusty like a bible in a motel 6. I’ve been praying and speaking with two anointed women of God lately whom are my faithful friends and intercessors. One of them writes to me a quote from their husband who is also an anointed man of God who is a faithful friend and intercessor… He says, “the best faith journeys are the ones we take alone.” If you read closely, in my opinion, He’s revealing that usually faith journey’s include multiple folks. When in fact that’s partially true…

I’m currently on an faith meets adventure meets real life 9-5 no church attending just daily conversations with Jesus and anointed women and men of God- journey.

I miss the fellowship that the church brings although I have to yet to put myself in that situation again. I’ve been invited plenty of times I just can’t seem to bring myself to actually going to a church service or prayer service.

Am I scared of confrontation? Am I scared that people will say… “oh lucy she was once a christian but no longer is because of her actions”

Yes, it just sounds like a bunch of condemnation which is from the devil not from God.

Yes, i know i shouldn’t listen to those thoughts or words from peeps. Although I am.

Bold Lucy is still Bold Lucy with a lot of sensitivity.

I’ve found myself listening to worship music, praying & interceding, crying & weeping for God to come into my heart & wreck my life daily.

I want to boldly love him (Jesus- not again but for the first time all over)

I want to love people & not feel like my love for them isn’t worth it.

My love for people comes from God.

My love to serve might have been taken advantage of but it was sincere & that comes from God.

So can I do it?

Can I really start doing youth rallies again?

Can I bring myself to ask for help from people?

I’m sure I can I just don’t know when.

I’m not cleaning up btw to the folks who are like, “oh but she drinks, oh but she uses profanity, oh but look at who she hangs out with.”

If you can remember when the love of Christ overtakes ones whole heart, the person wants to be consumed by Jesus’ love & nothing else.

So let the power of the love of Christ compel me.