public apology

to the past,

 

to the people whom I effected in the past- this is my public apology. I am not perfect. I am still learning. I have so much growing to do. I realized I kinda just said, “eff you” to the past several years. everything I worked hard for, the relationships built & now I’ve pretty much burned all those bridges down. I guess that’s what I wanted though. I wanted to figure out who I was & what I wanted. Not what was best for me via other people. Not saying that the past several years was a lie and not me. that was me. that was me trying to figure me out & now I’m here. still figuring out what I’m about. I’ve done a lot of growing and taken a lot of risk. I am so glad I’ve made every decision I’ve made wrong or right in your eyes because now I am here. Where I want to be, who I want to be with and on the path that I know God has called me to be on right now. This apology is more for me so that I won’t feel super guilty for cutting some people out of my life. No one should feel bad for living their life and being happy. So I apologize to those people whom I’ve hurt. I didn’t intend to hurt you but I do believe you did intend to hurt me & make me feel bad with your words, although I’m not gonna take it anymore. Your words are yours- not mine. To that one person- You were a good friend. I’m sure you had the best intentions. May God bless your career & your new family. To everyone else- I apologize if I’ve let you down & for not being there for you.

 

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#forgetfulfriday

Dear world wide web,

Im in the midst of a faith battle. Its my own. Its the toughest battle ive ever fought so far & I must say, I need to embrace the times like these…the ones where Im hopeless because these times push me into hope. They push me into the times where everything is “good” & “right.”
You know what I mean?

Youre livin life for Jesus & all of a sudden it seems like one thing after another just keeps going wrong. Ive made it to the point where crying is pointless & all I can do is laugh about how my life isnt going the way i planned so now im waiting. Im waiting for the little beam of light inside of me to pick me back up and say some sort of encouragement. And i think im almost there. There at the place where Ive found my first love.

#forgetfulfriday – dont forget your first love.