i’m 22 & i still look asian.

i’m gonna miss one of my favoritest peoples wedding tomorrow because of my car & finances. i am sincerely heartbroken.

yesterday was my birthday & i celebrated by working & having dinner with friends and family.

note to self: if you say you’re gonna be there, be there or at least call and say you wont.

we ate at BWW which was amazing & a few friends and myself went to this arcade midtown houston.

we took the back way & ended up going through 3rd ward(where i grew up) & ran into some “thugs & gangsters”

2 out of 4 people freaked out & thought we were gonna die.

myself & another friend laughed and smiled, at the said, “thugs”

it brought back a memory though.

a year or two ago, after prayer culture.

a few friends and myself went to whataburger & it was pretty late.

this homeless crack-addict lady came up to us and asked to give her money, gas, food & just made this huge story up a kid going to the hospital in houston.

so we prayed for her. took her to a local pastors house and drove off.

everyone in the car was either frightened or thinking “wth lucy what are you thinking???”

as we drove off my heart started to weep & it showed on my face. i realized God really really really has put people like that on my heart.

not to be scared of them or feel sorry for them but to show compassion & the love of The Father cause honestly when you’ve been shown The love of The Father; you will be changed ( thank you kim walker)

when i sat in that car crying, realizing all i want to do is help people, no one understood why, which was completely fine.

only cause on judgement day you aren’t gonna be there with me. its just gonna me standing there in front of The Father. no one else. not my mom. not annette. not lauren. not rochelle. or my unknown pastor.

knowing that you aren’t gonna be there to witness my faults be revealed( as if people couldnt see them already) makes me feel inevitable.

like i am okay. i can do this.

i know i can.

i’m 22 & i still look asian, nothing is gonna change(except me)

The Father is the same, yesterday, today & forever.


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